Learn the language

If you’ve had an uncomfortable sexual experience you might be grappling with making sense of what happened. After an uncomfortable, confusing and oftentimes traumatic experience such as sexual assault or coercion you might be learning a whole new vocabulary and be unsure how to define it. Women often question whether or not what happened actually counts as sexual assault18,19 and this not knowing can hold them back from seeking support and reporting. Understanding key terms and putting words to what happened can be helpful in making sense of your experience. Here you can find a glossary of key definitions in general terms. Legal definitions however can differ based on the locality, don’t always reflect the victim experience1,27 and evolve over time2,27. To understand the legal terminology for what happened and/or to seek medical advice, it’s best to refer to the relevant local laws and legislations, and speak to relevant professional advisors. The information on Herstory shouldn’t be considered legal or medical advice.

Consent

The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s (CDC) National Center for Injury Prevention and Control (NCIPC) defines consent as “words or overt actions by a person who is legally or functionally competent to give informed approval, indicating a freely given agreement to have sexual intercourse or sexual contact.”3

UN Women provide the following guidelines for consent4:

  • Enthusiastic: “No,” or “I don’t know,” and silence are not consent – rather than looking for a “no,” make sure there’s an active “yes.” If the other person seems unsure or worried, you don’t have consent.4
  • Given Freely: Consent must be given voluntarily and cannot be obtained through coercion or force4 including using a position of authority or trust, such as a teacher or an employer, to coerce someone into something5. You cannot give consent if you are e.g. unconscious, sleeping or intoxicated or if wishes or nonverbal cues to stop, like pushing away, are ignored or if pressure is applied to get a yes.4,5
  • Informed: Based on facts. For example, if a partner says they will use protection but don’t, that is not consensual sex.4
  • Specific: Consent is given for a specific act (e.g. kissing). It does not mean agreeing to another act (e.g. sex). Consent needs to be present every time – agreeing to something once does not automatically mean consent for the same in the future.4
  • Reversible: It can be revoked at any time. That means people are allowed to change their minds, or stop any activity at any time.4

When interpreting your actions, words and responses during your experience, it is important to understand there is no uniform or right reaction to sexual assault24 and reactions can be automatic25.

Sexual Violence

The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s (CDC) National Center for Injury Prevention and Control (NCIPC) defines sexual violence as “any sexual act, attempt to obtain a sexual act, unwanted sexual comments or advances, or acts to traffic, or otherwise directed, against a person’s sexuality using coercion, by any person regardless of their relationship to the victim, in any setting, including but not limited to home and work.”3

Sexual Assault

Sexual assault refers to a range of unwanted sexual acts such as touching, kissing, rubbing, groping, forcing the victim to touch the perpetrator in sexual ways, and rape.6

Rape

The FBI’s Uniform Crime Report defines rape as “penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim.”Generally, rape typically refers to unwanted sexual intercourse that involves the use of force and/or the lack of consent.1

The legal definitions for rape can differ based on locality1. Some of the differences in the definition of rape can include:

  • Whether or not the presence of force is required (as opposed to absence of consent)1
  • Gender neutrality (victim and/or perpetrator)8
  • Relationship between perpetrator and victim (e.g. some countries don’t acknowledge marital rape)9
  • Penetrative body part/object10
  • Consumption of alcohol or drugs (e.g. voluntarily vs involuntarily taken)2
Sexual Coercion

Sexual coercion means pressuring someone into sexual activity through for example verbal or physical coercion, threats or intimidation or through the use/abuse of authority.3,11

Sexual Harassment

The U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) defines sexual harassment as unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favours, and other verbal or physical harassment of a sexual nature.12 Unwelcome does not mean “involuntary.” A victim may agree to certain conduct and actively participate in it even though it is offensive and objectionable13 e.g. due to the other party being in a more powerful position and fear of repercussions of refusal11. The sexual conduct is unwelcome whenever the person subjected to it considers it unwelcome.13

Sexual harassment can include:

  • asking for sex or sexual favours including quid pro quo (something for something)
  • leering or staring
  • blocking your route physically
  • displaying offensive materials
  • making sexual gestures or suggestive body movements
  • sexual jokes and comments around or to you
  • questioning about others’ or sharing about their sex life
  • making sexual comments or asking questions that are sexual in nature
  • criminal offences such as indecent exposure or sexual assault13

Sexual harassment can happen for example at work related settings (e.g. by a supervisor, a supervisor in another area, a colleague or a client).12

Acquaintance Rape

Rape committed by someone the survivor knows (e.g. a friend, a co-worker, a date or a spouse).5

Date Rape

A form of acquaintance rape committed by someone the survivor is or was romantically involved with.5

Marital or Spousal Rape

Rape committed by the person the survivor is married to or by their spouse.5

Stranger Rape

Rape committed by someone the survivor does not know.5

Intimate Partner Violence

Intimate partner violence (IPV) refers to physical violence, sexual violence, stalking, or psychological harm by a current or former partner or spouse.14

Technology-Facilitated Sexual Violence

Technology-facilitated sexual violence (TFSV) refers to a range of behaviours where digital technologies are used to facilitate virtual and/or face-to-face sexually based harms. Such behaviours can include online sexual harassment, gender- and sexuality-based harassment, cyberstalking, image-based sexual exploitation, and the use of a carriage service to coerce a victim into an unwanted sexual act.28

Image-Based Sexual Abuse

Image-based sexual abuse (IBSA) covers two behaviours. The first is “sexting coercion”28 that is engaging in unwanted sexual behaviour through sexually explicit text, pictures, or video29. The second is the creation, distribution, or threat of distribution, of intimate or sexually explicit images of another person without their consent. IBSA is also referred to as ‘revenge porn(ography)’28 though the term has been criticised for implying that the victim has committed some form of trespass against the perpetrator, deflecting the blame away from the perpetrator and reflecting victim-blaming33.

Stealthing

‘Stealthing’ refers to non-consensual condom removal before or during sexual intercourse.35

The criminlaisation of stealthing differs depending on the country, and the state. For example, in the United States stealthing is a civil offense in California where it has been added to the state’s civil definition of sexual battery. This makes it illegal but not a crime in California as it has not been added to the criminal code36 . Under English and Welsh law, stealthing is rape37. In Australia it’s explicitly criminalised in several jurisdictions38.

Grooming

Grooming refers to manipulative behaviors that an abuser uses to gain access to a potential victim, coerce them to agree to sexual abuse, and reduce the risk of being caught. Grooming behaviors are not limited to the victim, but are often used to create a trustworthy image and relationship with the victim’s family and community to gain direct access to the victim and to make it less likely they will be believed if they disclose the abuse. It can take place online and/or in-person. These tactics are most often used against younger children, however teens and vulnerable adults are also at risk.

The perpetrator is usually someone from the victim’s circle of trust such as a family member, coach, teacher, or youth group leader. They will typically portray being charming, kind, and helpful to etsbalish trust. Grooming will typically involve “sharing secrets”, undue influence or control, or pushes personal boundaries. And alos, desensitization to touch and discussion of sexual topics, with a gradual escalation of physical touch and sexual abuse.39

Acute Stress Disorder

Acute stress disorder (ASD) is a mental health condition that’s triggered by a deeply disturbing or terrifying event (such as sexual assault) within the first four weeks of the traumatic event — either experiencing it or witnessing it. Symptoms may include flashbacks, nightmares, feeling wound up (also called hyperarousal), anxiety or distress, as well as intrusive thoughts about the event.15

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a mental health condition that’s triggered by a deeply disturbing or terrifying event (such as sexual assault) after the first four weeks of the traumatic event — either experiencing it or witnessing it. Symptoms may include flashbacks, nightmares, feeling wound up (also called hyperarousal), severe anxiety or distress, as well as intrusive thoughts about the event. Multiple traumas over a longer time period can lead to complex post-traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD).15

Rape Trauma Syndrome

Rape trauma syndrome (RTS) is a psychological trauma experienced by a victim or rape16 or other forms of sexual violence17RTS is often described as a particular type of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), though it is more accurate to refer to rape (or sexual assault) as a traumatic event that can result in the development of PTSD, rather than to classify RTS as a subcategory of PTSD.26 The symptoms of RTS and post-traumatic stress syndrome overlap.16

Sources:

1. (25 November 2019). International Day on the Elimination of Violence against Women 25 November 2019. Absence of consent must become the global standard for definition of rape. The United Nations Human Rights Office of the High Commissioner. https://www.ohchr.org/en/NewsEvents/Pages/DisplayNews.aspx?NewsID=25340&LangID=E 

2. Tracy, C., Fromson, T., Gentile Long, J. & Whitman, C. (5 June 2012). Rape and Sexual Assault in the legal system. Presented to the National Research Council of the National Academies Panel on Measuring Rape and Sexual Assault in the Bureau of Justice Statistics Household Surveys Committee on National Statistics. https://www.womenslawproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/Rape-and-Sexual-Assault-in-the-Legal-System-FINAL.pdf

3. (Retrieved 23 August 2020). Intimate Partner Violence Surveillance. Uniform definitions and recommended data elements. National Center for Injury Prevention and Control. Division of Violence Prevention. The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/intimatepartnerviolence.pdf

4. UN Women. (16 November 2019). When it comes to consent, there are no blurred lines. Medium. https://medium.com/@UN_Women/when-it-comes-to-consent-there-are-no-blurred-lines-1dfd02cebe10

5. (Retrieved 23 August 2020). Your Guide to sexual Consent. Healthline. https://www.healthline.com/health/guide-to-consent

6. Abbey, A., Zawacki, T., Buck, P., Clinton, M. & McAuslan, P. (2001). Alcohol and Sexual Assault. Alcohol Research & Health. 25(1): 43-51.

7. (Retrieved 23 August 2020).Rape. Uniform Crime Report. FBI. https://ucr.fbi.gov/crime-in-the-u.s/2013/crime-in-the-u.s.-2013/violent-crime/rape

8. Rumney, P. (2007). In Defence of Gender Neutrality Within Rape. Seattle Journal of Social Justice. 6(481). https://ssrn.com/abstract=1316252

9. (Retrieved 23 August 2020). Marital rape laws by country. Wikipedia. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marital_rape_laws_by_country

10. (Retrieved 23 August 2020). Rape, Legal Definitions of. The Multimedia Encyclopedia of Women in Today’s World. Sage Reference. https://study.sagepub.com/sites/default/files/Ch09_Legal%20Definitions%20of%20Rape.pdf

11. Pugh, B. & Becker, P. (2018). Exploring Definitions and Prevalence of Verbal Sexual Coercion and Its Relationship to Consent to Unwanted Sex: Implications for Affirmative Consent Standards on College Campuses. Journal of Behavioral Science. 8(8): 69. doi: 10.3390/bs8080069

12. (Retrieved 23 August 2020). The U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC). https://www.eeoc.gov/sexual-harassment

13. (Retrieved 23 August 2020). What is Sexual Harassment. Womenwatch. United Nations. https://www.un.org/womenwatch/osagi/pdf/whatissh.pdf

14. (Retrieved 23 August 2020). Intimate Partner Violence. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/intimatepartnerviolence/index.html

15. (2013). American Psychiatric Association. Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5®)American Psychiatric Association Publishing; Washington, DC, USA.

16. (Retrieved 3 August 2020). Rape Trauma Syndrome. RAINN. https://www.justice.gov/file/1121326/download

17. Chivers-Wilson K. A. (2006). Sexual assault and posttraumatic stress disorder: a review of the biological, psychological and sociological factors and treatments. McGill journal of medicine : MJM : an international forum for the advancement of medical sciences by students, 9(2), 111–118.

18. Ro, C. (6 November 2018). Why most rape victims never acknowledge what happened. BBC. https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20181102-why-dont-rape-and-sexual-assault-victims-come-forward

19. Peterson, Z. & Muehlenhard, C. (2011). Match-and-Motivation Model of How Women Label Their Nonconsensual Sexual Experiences. Psychology of Women Quarterly 35(4) 558-570. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/0361684311410210 

20. Forde, K. (27 September 0218). Why more women don’t report sexual assaults: A survivor speaks out. ABC News. https://abcnews.go.com/US/women-report-sexual-assaults-survivor-speaks/story?id=57985818 

21. Weiner, Z. (11 July 2019), What It’s Like to Finally Reckon With Your Sexual Assault Years After It Happens. Well + Good. https://www.wellandgood.com/sexual-assault-trauma/

22. Blankenship, J. (18 June 2018). All the Reasons I Texted My Rapist. The Rumpus. https://therumpus.net/2018/06/all-the-reasons-i-texted-my-rapist/

23. Price, H. (6 March 2018). ‘I was raped as a student – and I’m not the only one.’ BBC News. https://www.bbc.com/news/stories-432581702

24. Kozlowska, K., Walker, P., McLean, L. & Carrive, P. (2015). Fear and the Defence Cascade: Clinical Implications and Management, 23(4): 263–287. Harvard Review of Psychiatry. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4495877/

25. Garrett, L. Sexual Assault in the Workplace. (2011); AAOHN JOURNAL. 59(1). https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/21650799110590010

26. Faigman et al., supra note 3, § 10-1.1, at 403 via Davis, M (1998). Rape, Resurrection, and the Quest for Truth: The Law and Science of Rape Trauma Syndrome in Constitutional Balance with the Rights of the Accused. 49(5). https://repository.uchastings.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=3342&context=hastings_law_journal

27. Grady, C. (30 Nov 2017). The complicated, inadequate language of sexual violence. Vox. https://www.vox.com/culture/2017/11/30/16644394/language-sexual-violence

28. Henry, N. & Powell, A. (2016). Technology-Facilitated Sexual Violence: A Literature Review of Empirical Research. 19(2). Journal of Trauma Violence & Abuse. https://doi.org/10.1177/1524838016650189

29.. Drouin, M., & Tobin, E. (2014). Unwanted but consensual sexting among young adults. Computers in Human Behavior, 31, 412–418. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chb.2013.11.001 via Henry, N. & Powell, A. (2016). Technology-Facilitated Sexual Violence: A Literature Review of Empirical Research. 19(2). Journal of Trauma Violence & Abuse. https://doi.org/10.1177/1524838016650189

30  (Retrieved 13 Feb 2021). Melissa’s Truth. The Vera House Incorporated. https://www.verahouse.org/melissas-truth

31. (Retrieved 15 Feb 2021). I was sexually assaulted on Valentine’s Day. https://ravishly.com/i-was-sexually-assaulted-valentines-day

32. (Retrieved 28 Feb 2021). I Was Raped–A Story of Pain, Forgiveness, and Healing. The Stone Foundation Counseling Group. https://thestonefoundation.com/i-was-raped-a-story-of-pain-forgiveness-and-healing/

33. Peacock, R. (10 March 2021). ‘Revenge porn’is a misnormer. UK Human Rights Blog. https://ukhumanrightsblog.com/2021/03/10/revenge-porn-is-a-misnomer/

34. Thompson, R. (26 Aug 2021). Unacknowledged rape: the sexual assault survivors who hide their trauma – even from themselves. The Guardian. https://www.theguardian.com/society/2021/aug/26/unacknowledged-the-sexual-assault-survivors-who-hide-their-trauma-even-from-themselves

35. Davis, KC. “Stealthing”: Factors associated with young men’s nonconsensual condom removal. Health Psychol. 2019 Nov; 38(11):997-1000. doi: 10.1037/hea0000779. Epub 2019 Jul 1. PMID: 31259595; PMCID: PMC6800753.

36. Paz, G. I. (8 Oct 2021). California Makes ‘Stealthing,’ or Removing Condom Without Consent, Illegal The state became the first to outlaw the act, adding it to its civil definition of sexual battery and giving victims the ability to sue their assailants for damages.

37. Retrieved (3 Jun, 2023). Stealthing = rape. Rapecrisis.org.uk. https://rapecrisis.org.uk/get-informed/types-of-sexual-violence/what-is-rape/#stealthing

38. Touma, R. (30 Apr 2021). ‘Stealthing is rape’: the Australian push to criminalise the removal of a condom during sex without consent. The Guardian. https://www.theguardian.com/society/2021/may/01/stealthing-is-the-australian-push-to-criminalise-the-removal-of-a-condom-during-sex-without-consent

39. (Retrieved Nov 26 2023). Grooming: Know the Warning Signs. RAINN. https://www.rainn.org/news/grooming-know-warning-signs