Hear from survivors

Content warning: This page, and the publications it links to contain descriptions about sexual assault. 

If you feel like you’ve never a heard a story like yours, you’re not alone. On this page, you can find survivor stories about their responses in the moments before, during and after the assault that – although common –  are often left out in mainstream narratives. While we hope you find validation from the contents of this page, reading survivor stories can also feel distressing. If you feel triggered, you may want to leave the page, and/or seek professional help.

Survivor stories about responses in the moments before sexual assault

The moments just before the sexual assault are called “anticipatory stage”.34 Whether survivors report ignoring a bad gut feeling or never having never seen it coming,35 oftentimes the survivor’s behaviour and ‘choices’ leading up to the assault come under scrutiny in the aftermath of sexual assault. Survivors too can feel like they were at fault, if even partially. Yet, focusing on the actions of the victim is not only harmful but also misses the point. Regardless of what happened, sexual violence is inexcusable. At the same time, perpetrators are often skilled at pushing victims’ boundaries to create opportunities to assault36 Furthermore, even when the danger signs are evident, our natural tendency is to rationalise away bad gut feelings37, and it can be difficult for women to assert themselves due to normative femininity such as being polite, nice and receptive to others.38 

I had no obvious reason to feel unsafe.(—) I let him walk me home. It wasn’t worth the fight (—) he asked, “Can I at least come up and pee before I bike home?” I already felt guilty for saying “no.” (—) We got upstairs. (—) No amount of alcohol in my blood would’ve been enough to make me forget the palpable cracking feeling inside of me right then—every part of me slumped and deflated, definitely if almost imperceptibly, and I gave up. He’d outlasted me. (—) So, I made a call: When he moved toward me, and pushed me down onto the couch, I stopped fighting.”21

“I just have to run upstairs to grab my wallet” he said with a smile on his face… I blamed myself. Why did I go over to his building? Why did I then follow him up the stairs? Why did I even enter his apartment?” Who would believe me?19

As I was leaving the club, a guy also at the social said he lived near me and offered to walk me home. (—) We’d only met a few weeks before, so conversation was light (—). When we got to the steps that led up to my house, he politely asked if he could pop inside for a glass of water because he was feeling unwell. Maybe this is when I should have heard alarm bells, but even as I was pouring the drink in my kitchen nothing struck me as amiss. Not until after he’d finished the water, and the pretence was over.24

A little tiny caution light went off (—)  I ignored my instinct.28

At the end of the evening my ex-boyfriend offered to bring me home since I was feeling ill, was disoriented and unable to stand up and walk very well… What happened next no one could have predicted.28

I thought he was my friend. I started feeling uncomfortable but I ignored my feeling (—). Suddenly he was a stranger. He was doing something I never thought he would be capable of.22

In the back of my mind I was like, ‘Don’t go upstairs’ (—) But I also thought that would be safe.23

I felt like it was my fault because, before that night, I had found him attractive.17

I’d been quite open with him that I wasn’t looking for a relationship of any sort – I wanted to be on my own – and that I was happy to have a friendship. I was around at his house. It was almost like a switch flipped. I felt him get too close to me in a way that I just really wasn’t comfortable with and I moved away and I went to push him back and it was very quick and very forceful.31

Survivor stories about responses during sexual assault

There is no “right” or uniform response to sexual assault, yet victims may feel shame and embarrassment about their response especially if they succumbed to the perpetrator.39 A common misconception is that victims will fight back or try to run away. In reality, women typically resist passively not by fighting back.40 Explore common responses during sexual assault by reading the below stories.

I was asleep and then was awoken by a pressure inside of and on top of me.27

I didn’t know what to do. I pretended to be asleep. I tried to roll on my stomach. I was just in absolute shock. He knew I was asleep and took advantage of the situation.15

I woke up and realized it wasn’t a dream, and I freaked out and I didn’t know what to do.15

It was totally overpowering and I just froze. I didn’t really fight any more, it was like a freeze as opposed to trying to fight him.31

Eventually I gave in so I could get myself out of that situation.15

I didn’t know I was raped for three years. (—) I don’t recall giving consent (—) My dress was still on, and I became present about halfway through and it felt wrong. I didn’t want to be there anymore. I wanted to be anywhere else. Even if I had given consent, it was void due to my level of intoxication (—) I didn’t stop it. Confused and drunk, I believed it was my fault I was in that situation. I had worn a short dress. I flirted with this man for an hour or so.18

It felt as though I had been an object in the truest sense of the word, like my body had been used while I was not completely there. I knew that I had, at least to some degree, participated sexually. But it hadn’t felt like participation in anything other than a disembodied, robotic sense. (—) In spite of my utter lack of consent, I felt that it wasn’t really rape because I was not sufficiently traumatized, because I did not say no or put up any kind of fight.2

When he started kissing me, it was definitely consensual. (—) I had zero intentions of having sex that night. It’s not what I wanted to happen. I didn’t say no, but I didn’t really know what to do. I just kind of froze. I was visibly crying during the experience.15

The night he invited me to his house for the first time, I was 18 and ecstatic. We drank his Patron tequila before he led me from the kitchen to a completely dark den where I assumed we’d make out. We did, for a moment. (—) I told him not to: I didn’t want to have sex. (—) I repeated I didn’t want to have sex. He didn’t stop.”41

I woke up to him having sex with me and felt very confused and very unsure of what I had consented to. When I realized what was happening I made a moment-by-moment decision not to escalate. What increased danger would I be in if I made my internal feelings external? I relented, some would say participated, and had very little memory of what happened.3

Reminder, I am incredibly drunk, drunk enough that I can’t fight anyone off and am more or less falling asleep as we kiss. He then takes off my clothes, which I protest against, but can’t stop, and proceeds to have sex with me. Afterwards we fall asleep. We had sex a total of three times. The first time was not consensual. I said no close to ten times and meant it. I was ignored. The second time I was so drunk I don’t remember, also more than likely falls on the rape side. The third time we had sex he was incredibly pushy about it. He asked me countless times “why not?” and “it already happened, come on.” So, I had sex with him.6

I left my body (—) It’s sort of our brain’s way of protecting us from trauma. I watched what happened almost as if it were a play.28

I just remember staring up at the ceiling and following the cracks in the paint until he was done.19

The assault felt like someone else’s nightmare. Feeling like I was watching myself from outside of my body, I saw myself crying, telling him to stop, trying to shove him off. I could feel myself hoping beyond hope that my roommates, who were sleeping soundly, would hear and come to help.29

This may sound like consent on my part, but the power differential, and my fear of the repercussions if I protested  —  losing my friends, my career, and my sense of belonging  —  made consent impossible. I was powerless.30

I didn’t think of it as sexual assault for years because I had an orgasm, because I didn’t try harder to stop it.5

I kept asking myself, “Is he doing what I think he’s doing?”(—) I continued to sit, frozen, smiling politely, witnessing the assault in the mirror (—) I interrogated myself harshly: “Why didn’t you leave? Why didn’t you scream? (—) Why did you thank him? Why didn’t you just tell him to stop?”.14

I had been sick for about a week, and I hadn’t spent much time with my boyfriend. When we finally got together, he initiated sex, and I refused, as I still wasn’t feeling great. He became angry, berating me for refusing and guilt-tripping me for not being around that week. I didn’t feel like I had any control over the situation. He didn’t outright threaten me, but I felt afraid and helpless, so I stopped resisting. Immediately after, I remember crying, and feeling sick, confused and scared. (—) I didn’t realize what had happened was really rape, because it had been done by coercion, not a scary man in the alley.7

Although I didn’t agree to what was happening, I was physically getting aroused by it. Once it became clear that my attempts to stop it weren’t succeeding, I figured all I could do to make the situation less unpleasant for myself was try to enjoy the arousal I felt mounting in my body.4

I clenched my legs together and said “no, no, no” playfully, to ease the tension a bit. (—) I was becoming more nervous about the situation so I began to giggle; laughing made me feel like I actually had a part in the situation and that I had more control than I did, and I also hoped it would lighten the mood and lessen the blow of my sexual rejections for him. I was still thinking about how this was making him feel instead of the implications of what he was doing to me.30

My abuser invited me over to his house on a random night. He was significantly older than me and I can’t exactly remember what reason he had other than to hangout. I was excited because I was interested in him, but I had no intent of having sex with him. We watched a movie and talked before he started to make advances on me. I was okay with the kissing, but once he asked for other things, I made it clear I was uncomfortable. I said no. He eventually stopped and we continued to watch a movie. Before I even realized what was happening, he was on top of me and he began to have sex with me.33

Survivor stories about responses after sexual assault

Survivors’ responses following sexual assault are often misunderstood. Survivors themselves don’t necessarily understand their own coping mechanisms, which can seem confusing and counterintuitive.40 Understanding common responses following sexual assault can help to empower survivors’ to overcome feelings of self-blame, and take back control. If you feel confused about your responses after sexual assault, hearing from other survivors can help.

I went on a date with the guy who sexually assaulted me, two years after he sexually assaulted me. When my rapist asked me out, two years later, I was grateful. I thought his renewed interest in me might actually spell redemption. I still thought this person could offer me something by way of healing.8 

Counterintuitive as it may seem, my impulse to initiate a second encounter with my attacker more than a year after the original incident makes sense to experts on sexual assault.10

I just tried to forget about it after that. I thought, “I better move on, it was my mistake. I gave him the wrong message by going over.” I felt foolish for drinking so much, although, looking back, I don’t know if drinking less would have made any difference. All I did was agree to crash on his couchYou want to reconcile it in your mind, thinking that it didn’t happen or it wasn’t a big deal. That’s a lot easier to deal with than thinking, “This person has betrayed me and totally crossed the line and he doesn’t really care or remember or even notice.”7

I pushed the rape aside, or tried to. I told myself, Well, he’d been drinking; I’d been drinking. Is it worth ending a friendship of five years over one mistake? Because of this rationale, I allowed myself to see him a few times after the rape.16

I texted him a few times, asking things like “Is our friendship totally ruined now?” and “Do you want to get coffee?” He responded tersely to both: “No.” We didn’t hang out again and didn’t communicate again. He occasionally “likes” something I post on social media, and when he does, I remember. Those texts baffle me. I certainly didn’t have any recollection of sending them. (—) Finding the post-rape texts I sent (—) felt like being confronted with proof that I had not being a perfect victim, and that realization destabilized my long-cemented perception of what exactly had gone down that night. (—) trying to navigate that cognitive dissonance of realizing that I was both a victim of rape and someone still actively bearing the assumptions and rules that uphold rape culture and disadvantage assault victims.21

I had always been a strong, intelligent, self-assured, and empowered feminist with a good head on her shoulders—someone who was confident and loved herself and knew what she deserved. Yet I kissed my own rapist. Multiple times. I kissed my rapist as a means to comfort him so that he’d think, “Don’t worry, it’s okay.” Or maybe so I’d think, “Don’t worry, I’m okay?” I don’t know. All I know is that it was the most pathetic thing I have ever done in my life, and my identity and self-esteem has suffered immensely because of that seemingly small action.27

After that, I reached out to see him a few more times. So crazy of me, right? I didn’t even like him much, but I didn’t want to end our fling because of what had happened that night, because that would mean actually admitting that something wrong did happen and that something was taken away from me without my consent, which would entail that I was a victim of sorts. That something had happened to me. My whole life, I had always prided myself on being an empowered, strong woman. I was active, not passive. Nothing happened to me; I made things happen. Therefore, in my head, an acknowledgment of being a victim would rattle the core of what I founded myself on and shatter my whole identity. I wanted to be in charge of myself, so I ignored what happened and just continued hanging out with him like it wasn’t a big deal.27

I wanted to make our relationship change, to make the rape turn into love. That didn’t work. It took me several months to realize this relationship was bad from the beginning and would never get better. I didn’t know how to categorize my rape.6

The legal system requires proof beyond a reasonable doubt. I’d behaved in ways that didn’t make sense. I’d smiled and made pancakes. Facing the antagonism of an interrogation hardly seemed worth it.11

Every time I said yes, I was trying to consent retroactively. For me, sleeping with him was the ultimate denial that he ever raped me.12

I never felt compelled to share my story before, because it is so unremarkable, so common, because so many women have been through worse. I dated him afterward. Part of the encounter was consensual. We had both been drinking, him far more than me. I thought maybe he didn’t know what he was doing, and later didn’t remember (an idea the men in my life whom I’ve told, and whom I love and trust, have dismissed). And so I didn’t think there was anything to report.13

I knew when it was happening, when I was still drunk. I knew it the next day, and for all the days after that. This is not to say that I didn’t try for months to convince myself that it wasn’t rape. I knew it was rape as soon as it was happening, but examining the evidence and reviewing my actions now, I remember how I didn’t admit to myself for months that it was. I’m a very logical person: Accepting that I’d been raped was going to take the categorical elimination of every other possibility, and that would take time.21

That night was over three years ago. Yet, it wasn’t until this summer, when I was done with my degree and had left university that I was able to acknowledge to myself, and others, that I was raped.24

The next day was a blur. I know I made my way to a pharmacy to buy Plan B. I know I washed my sheets three times. I know I told no one, afraid that if I said it out loud it would seem more real. I felt nothing until the end of the day when I lost control in the bathroom, staring at my face, sobbing and screaming. Looking back on it, I think that was the first moment that I truly understood what had happened to me.25

I’ve retrospectively realized that, for the last five years, I’ve only romantically pursued (—) guys who have treated me awfully, and I have pushed away any of the good guys who I’d actually have a chance of real love with, as a way to punish myself for being so utterly pathetic that night. Because I didn’t deserve love anymore. I was tainted, I was stupid, I was a hypocrite, I was ugly inside. My core that I had been trying so hard to protect was shattered; each kiss had pierced it until I broke myself and my pieces fell to the ground all around me. I lost myself. Thank goodness for my best friends who knew me so well; they reminded me of who I was and how strong I was and, in time, helped me find the strength to put the pieces of my shattered identity back together again.27

It took me 12 years to realize it was rape. (—) What happened to me didn’t register as rape at the time, or in the years to follow. Despite the rise of the #MeToo movement, or watching other movies or TV that depicted rape, nothing resembled my experience close enough to make the connection. My idea of sexual assault had been the life-threatening kind: a strange, masked man attacks a woman in an alley at gunpoint.41

The next night I went to the football dorm where he lived to talk to him and when he made advances, I didn’t stop him. I think I was in shock and my brain wanted to make what happened seem like something different than a violent acquaintance rape.6

I have attempted to re-story experiences after they’ve happened, a form of reverse logic: No woman would make her rapist breakfast. If she makes him breakfast, he’s not a rapist. If he’s not a rapist, she’s not a victim. She hasn’t been raped. She’s okay. She’s fine.9

Afterward I asked him if he wanted to stay. To sleep over. Because I desperately wanted to think I had wanted this, to feel that everything was fine..My irrational request would later fog the clear act and help spare him from expulsion and conviction and shame.20

I actually sent him a message the next day apologizing for being such a mess, thanking him for taking care of me when I was sick. Ironically, I was humiliated that he had seen me so weak and vulnerable. (—) Weeks later, when I confessed to him that I had feelings for him, he responded by ending our friendship. And though that certainly solidified my sense of being used and objectified, I was still unable, even internally, to name what had happened as “rape.”2

I kept thinking about the details, the cold, minute logistics of the evening—so many of the things he did while we were having sex were things that I historically, objectively enjoy. They weren’t tender or respectful by any definition, but in an otherwise consensual encounter I would have been fine with them. Without context, it wasn’t the world’s most spectacular sexual performance, but it was perfectly better-than-adequate. So, why were my body and I giving each other space (—)? Of course, I knew the answer. I felt such a stark absence of doubt that I’d been raped that I simultaneously couldn’t bring myself to admit it and also didn’t need to.21

I sat next to my former roommate. I told her what had happened to me. She told me that the same guy who had raped me had also raped her. Both of us had remained silent afterwards, afraid of the consequences of telling.26

I was disoriented and annoyed and in shock, but I felt bad for yelling at him. I also felt bad since I knew at that point that he liked me more than I liked him, so I made an excuse for him in my head. “I’m sure he was just confused,” I thought. I remember going to him and giving him little kisses on his shoulders, his neck, his cheeks, and his eyelids. Each kiss was an apology from me on his behalf and an “It’s okay” in my head and a vain attempt to erase with my lips what he had done.27

The morning after it happened, I said a cheery: “Good morning,” to my university roommate, as if nothing was wrong. “How was last night?” she asked. “So fun,” I lied.(—)

I didn’t articulate it, but deep down I knew that what had happened had felt violating, degrading and not what I signed up for. Yet it took me a whole decade to realise what had really happened: I had been sexually assaulted.

So that morning when my roommate asked me excitedly: “Do you think you’ll see him again?” I said: “I hope so.”(—) On top of all that, I had feelings for the guy.32

I (—) hung out with him a week later. He did the same thing again, after I told him no. I didn’t know it was rape. I had no idea what rape looked or felt like. He tried to convince me that he cared about me and what we had was “special”. He dismissed what had happened to me as a “miscommunication.” It took me 5 months to finally realize after a conversation with my younger brother.33

The views expressed on this page are those of the authors of the referenced publications and/or the survivors featured in the referenced publications.

  Sources:

1. Morton, R. (Retrieved 25 Sep 2020).  I Was Raped and Broken. So I Picked up My Camera. CNN. https://www.cnn.com/interactive/2019/07/opinions/rosem-morton-sexual-assault-cnnphotos/

2. (21 Dec 2012). I Was Raped: Figuring Out What Happened and Why It Felt Wrong (*TRIGGER WARNING*). Rewire.News. https://rewirenewsgroup.com/article/2012/12/21/rape-figuring-out-what-happened-and-why-it-felt-wrong/

3 . Blair, J. (24 Mar 2016). Women Do What They Need to Do to Survive. Hazlitt. https://hazlitt.net/feature/women-do-what-they-need-do-survive

4. Weiss, S. (29 Aug 2018). I  Didn’t Want To Be Aroused By My Sexual Assault, But I Was. The Establishment. Medium. https://medium.com/the-establishment/i-didnt-want-to-be-aroused-by-my-sexual-assault-but-i-was-ec5b9e9c04c1

5. Murphy, S. (1 Apr 2015). I Didn’t Consent, But I Won’t Say I Was Raped. Thought Catalog. https://thoughtcatalog.com/stacia-murphy/2015/04/i-didnt-consent-but-i-wont-say-i-was-raped/ 

6. (4 Oct 2018). When Your Friend Is Your Rapist. The New York Times. https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/04/opinion/rape-friend-sexual-assault.html

7. Bielski, Z. (20 Mar 2016). How Politeness Conditioning Can Lead to Confusion About Sexual Assaults. The Globe and Mail. https://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/relationships/how-politeness-conditioning-can-lead-to-confusion-about-sexual-assults/article29294471/

8. Knoll, J. (17 Oct 2017). I Dated My Rapist. The Cut. https://www.thecut.com/2017/10/i-dated-my-rapist-jessica-knoll.html

9. Korbel, M. (25 Apr 2018). Sometimes You Make Your Rapist Breakfast. Apr 25, 2018. Harper’s Bazaar. https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/sometimes-rapist-breakfast-150600707.html

10. Hoch, L. (2 Feb 2018). I Cheated on My Boyfriend with My Rapist. By seducing my assaulter, I was reclaiming the control I’d lost over my body and identity. Marie Claire. https://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/a15957811/cheated-with-my-rapist/

11. McKeon, L. (16 Jul 2016). Fifteen years of silence. I was raped three times in less than 10 years. I knew all my attackers. This is my story. https://torontolife.com/city/crime/lauren-mckeon-fifteen-years-of-silence/

12. Ferguson, S. (30 Aug 2019). Consenting in Hindsight. Why I Continued to Sleep with my Rapist. The Greatist. https://greatist.com/live/consenting-in-hindsight-why-i-slept-with-my-rapist

13. Gay, M. (28 Sep 2018). Make my Sexual Assault Count. What America owes women right now. The New York Times. https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/29/opinion/sunday/sexual-assault-women-kavanaugh.html

14. Corvo, J. (29 Sep 2018). Why I Froze and Smiled During My Sexual Assault. Human Parts. https://humanparts.medium.com/why-i-silently-froze-and-smiled-during-my-sexual-assault-7bf5d56deebc

15. Anderson, N., Brown, E., Hendrix, S. & Svrluga, S. (Retrieved 15 October 2020). The Washington Post. https://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/local/sexual-assault/#story-50

16. Vanasco, J. (25 February 2020). I kept talking to my rapists. The Atlantic. https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2020/02/there-no-right-way-respond-sexual-assault/607033/

17. (9 October 2018). “I didn’t realise what happened was rape.” BBC. https://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/article/92f0eb4e-3cf2-4f5a-840e-3a5ba92d8bea

18. (6 May 2014). I didn’t Know I was Raped. A Confession Three Years Late. Human Parts. https://humanparts.medium.com/i-didnt-know-i-was-raped-d8f85f44b03e

19. Belmonte, M. (2 April 2020). Survivor, not a Victim: My Story of Sexual Assault. In-House. The Agora for Medical Residents and Fellows. https://in-housestaff.org/survivor-not-a-victim-my-story-of-sexual-assault-1711 

20. Matis, A. (3 May 2012). A Hiker’s Guide to Healing. The New York Times. https://www.nytimes.com/2012/05/06/fashion/a-hikers-guide-to-healing.html

21. Blankenship, J. (18 June 2018). All the Reasons I Texted My Rapist. The Rumpus. https://therumpus.net/2018/06/all-the-reasons-i-texted-my-rapist/

22. Facts about sexual assault. (Retrieved 15 August 2020). OU Police Department. University of Oklahoma. https://www.ou.edu/police/psafe/trust-your-instincts

23. Anderson, N., Brown, E., Hendrix, S. & Svrluga, S. (Retrieved 15 October 2020). The Washington Post. https://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/local/sexual-assault/#story-50

24. Price, H. (6 March 2018). ‘I was raped as a student – and I’m not the only one.’ BBC News. https://www.bbc.com/news/stories-432581702

25. Brown, A. (15 April 2020). My Sexual Assault Taught Me What Makes a Good Friend—and a Bad One. https://www.flare.com/identity/what-my-sexual-assault-taught-me-about-friendship/

26.Retrieved 12 Feb 2020). I was mortified. I knew I had been raped. Rapehurts.org. https://www.rapehurts.org/christine-testimonial/ 

27.  Vergara, A. What Rape is Really Like-Unfiltered. Beyond the Interview. https://www.beyondtheinterview.com/article/2017/7/11/vkbv88urdyho2blag7h47d85dj31q0 

28. Connors, J. (2016). I Will Find You. Grove Atlantic/Atlantic Monthly Press.

29. (Retrieved 13 Feb 2021). Melissa’s Truth. The Vera House Incorporated. https://www.verahouse.org/melissas-truth

30. Dillon, N. (9 Oct 2018). Ashtanga yoga guru Pattabhi Jois accused of sexual assault in new photos.https://www.nydailynews.com/news/ny-news-ashtanga-founder-photos-allege-sex-assault-20181009-story.html

31. (23 Nov 2017). When I look into my son’s eyes I see the man who raped me. BBC News. https://www.bbc.com/news/stories-42055511

32. Thompson, R. (26 Aug 2021). Unacknowledged rape: the sexual assault survivors who hide their trauma – even from themselves. The Guardian. https://www.theguardian.com/society/2021/aug/26/unacknowledged-the-sexual-assault-survivors-who-hide-their-trauma-even-from-themselves

33. Survivor story submission via Herstory. (27 Aug 2022).

34. Hall 1995; Koss and Harvey 1991 via Matsakis, A. (2003). The Rape Recovery Handbook. Step by step help for survivors of sexual assault. New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

35. Miles, R. (27 Mar 2016) Out of the shadows: Making sense of counterintuitive behaviors in sex assault survivors. The Enterprise. https://www.davisenterpriseom/forum/opinion-columns/out-of-the-shadows-making-sense-of-counterintuitive-behaviors-in-sex-assault-survivors/

36. Clark, H. & Quadara, A. (2010). Insights into sexual assault perpetration. Giving voice to victim/survivors’ knowledge. https://aifs.gov.au/sites/default/files/publication-documents/rr18.pdf

37. O’Toole, M.E. & Bowman, A. (2011). Dangerous Instincts: Use an FBI Profiler’s Tactics to Avoid Unsafe Situations. Penguin Random House.

38. Zawacki, T., Norris, J., George, W. H., Abbey, A., Martell, J., Stoner, S. A., Davis, K. C., Buck, P. O., Masters, N. T., McAuslan, P., Beshears, R., Parkhill, M. R., & Clinton-Sherrod, A. M. (2005). Explicating alcohol’s role in acquaintance sexual assault: complementary perspectives and convergent findings. Alcoholism, clinical and experimental research, 29(2), 263–269. https://doi.org/10.1097/01.alc.0000153552.38409.a6

39. Kozlowska, K., Walker, P., McLean, L. & Carrive, P. (2015). Fear and the Defence Cascade: Clinical Implications and Management, 23(4): 263–287. Harvard Review of Psychiatry. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4495877/

40. Haskell, L. & Randall, M. (2019). The Impact of Trauma on Adult Sexual Assault Victims.

41. Compton, N. (April 23, 2021). It took me 12 years to realize I’d been raped. ‘Promising Young Woman’ triggered that breakthrough. The Lily. https://www.thelily.com/it-took-me-12-years-to-realize-id-been-raped-promising-young-woman-triggered-that-breakthrough/.